Why I Won't Talk to My Kids About My Weight

Both the pictures above are of me. 

But they are not of the same person.

Body image is an issue that is running rampant in our society and has been for a while. 

 x Take that problem and multiply it times ten for women.

x And then take that and multiply it by the amount of time ballet dancers stand in front of the mirror each week and stare at their own bodies.

x And then take that and multiply it by the number of instructors that have told girls that they won't get a part or get into a program until they lose ten pounds.

= That equals a huge problem

Part of the struggle for ballet dancers I feel like can't be helped. The whole point is to strive for perfection and grow toward that everyday. There is an insatiable thirst for better and that in itself is not a bad thing. Dancers would not know the amazing things that they can do if they did not constantly push the limits to get closer to that illusive image of perfection.

Another part of that is also the necessary evil of the mirror. It is there to teach and correct. However, I've heard it said that sometimes if you look at a word for long enough it begins to look like it's misspelled. I think that same thing happens when you continue to pick apart your image in the mirror, it begins to look warped to you. I remember being a size two and crying because of how fat I thought I was and because I had a butt and because I couldn't change that. Looking back I almost laugh because now at a size twelve I wonder how I could have ever thought that I was fat back then!

The third part of the struggle is 100% something that we as teachers have the power to change. We are professional role models. We are the people that the students respect and admire. Especially as stewards of the minds of young people,we are responsible for what we teach these students, both in dance and in life. Children are like sponges and they soak up everything we say. Because of that we need to set an extra guard over our lips to make and end to this relentless cycle of hating our bodies. I know of too many eating disorders that were initiated or fueled by teachers telling their students they need to lose weight.

That is not your job.

Your job is to teach, encourage, and inspire. 

Your job is, yes, to tell the truth and set realistic goals with your students. 

But the talent and ability to dance is not limited to sizes 0-2.

I am so grateful for the teachers that I had, they never said anything along those lines to me. But even still I remember days where of hating my body and wishing for a different one. Even now sometimes I wonder if people will laugh or be skeptical when I tell them I am a ballet teacher.

Because of that, I don't think that young children should even have to think about weight and size and things like that. But they learn by example. 

I am much bigger than I used to be. And some days, just like with every woman I've ever met, that really bothers me. I am tempted to complain about my stomach, my thighs, how  something doesn't fit right. And that's okay to have those times.

But I will never complain about those things in front of my students. I will not perpetuate the cycle and teach them to hate bodies that do not look a certain way. I have heard young children talk about their waists and their butts and how they need to exercise more to lose weight and those words should not even be in the vocabulary of a normal, healthy 7 year old.

This is a reminder to me as much as anyone.

I know I could make healthier choices and I realize that obesity is also a problem in America.

But I also know that you shouldn't feel guilty for going out for ice cream with your friends.

I know that it is more important to examine your heart than your figure.

I know that each body type is fearfully and wonderfully made and I know that I do not ever want to teach some one, intentionally or otherwise, something different than that.

So those girls in the picture are not the same person.

Not because they are different sizes, but because the girl on the right has laughed and grown and cried and learned so much more than the girl on the left.

And they are both beautiful.