Growing

I know You're growing me O God,
But do I really need the pain?
When the clouds cover up the sky,
I search for the Son again.
I know You're teaching me O God,
But why am I so slow to learn?
My mortal brain is not quick,
And I am lacking in concern.
I know You're searching me O God,
But how do I search myself?
I've been pushing all my sins aside,
Ignoring them on their shelf.
I know You're speaking to me O God,
But why is it so hard to hear?
There is so much junk between You and me,
Though I am trying to draw near.
Grow me O God,
Teach me Your ways,
Search me O God,
Speak to me all my days.
I want to be grown,
I want to be taught,
I want to be searched,
So why have I fought?
Against Your love,
Your way and Your will,
Help me to listen,
To stay and be still.
Help me to cling,
To You every hour,
For You are my Lord,
My strength and Strong Tower.